You know, I can tell I am gaining in the Word -  because I read anew, and find a passage I know and have heard many a time.

I was reading along and found familiarity. It caused me to slow down, and take it all in more slowly, deliberately, carefully.
WISDOM. Like Solomon, as for WISDOM. Let it guide my words, requests and my footsteps.

Isn't this what I mean when I pray, when I go to the altar for prayer, and say my life is good, no request other than more of Him and that I may die?

Trust in the Lord. It has to be 100 to 0. It has to be all in. I love this quote:

“They trust not God at all that do it not alone. He that stands with one foot on a rock, and another foot upon a quicksand, will sink and perish as certainly as he that stands with both feet on a quicksand.” (Trapp)

Right? Makes such sense.

So I search myself, I invite the Holy Spirit to search me, teach me where I harbor unbelief, daily - for, surely I do.  I would be easily and reeadily aligned with the Lord at every turn, and feel not the disappointment, or the irritation, I can feel with other humans.

I have that direct experience over and over to give it to the Lord and then... experience Peace. Real Peace. When I acknowledge Him, and give oiver all to Him, He guides my path readily and clearly. He directs me to that fulfillment of His Will.
So why do I not do it every time, all the time? Why must I be like a petulant child and fight with my Dad who is only gracious and kind to me?

That human nature, broken nature.

I am growing out of andalong with... my fun and fabulous stories between me and the Lord. What I mean, is until recently, I was simply astonished that the Lord would buy my car, would drop finances on me, would fulfill dreams so immediately and readily.
I love that. And, But, I am maturing to realize Satan creeps in and make them My Stories. 

I want to see about being quiet in receivership and in reliance. It is not my nature, and perhaps I will not succeed OR be happy with it. Let's see.

It is surely starting by uber generosity towards this person who needs it (financially and emotionally) (and socially) (and personally)..... but-and. I want to lean on the Lord. I hear Him again this morning to give this woman a turkey for her thanksgiving. Oddly specific.
So okay. Done.

I believe it is the on-going walking rightly with Him with all my posessions and finances, that are, truly, from Him.

AND-But I want her to know it is the Lord and not LUCK. It is by His grace, driving my steps. Right? That is where I must learn - no, act - from Wisdom because I can udnerstand it.

Oh to learn to handle the talents and skills He has given me and not wield them. To honor Him when I use them... I hear her words and I cringe for the Lord. HE just laughs...as we are all at our own timing with Him.

Lord I do not despise Your chastening! I am often embarrased by it. Knowing I know better.
But Lord I am Your precious Work-in-Progress. Thank You, Thank You.

Verse 13-18 - BENEFITS of God's Chastening:

Happy is the man who finds wisdom,
And the man who gains understanding;
For her proceeds are better than the profits of silver,
And her gain than fine gold.
She is more precious than rubies,
And all the things you may desire cannot compare with her.
Length of days is in her right hand,
In her left hand riches and honor.
Her ways are ways of pleasantness,
And all her paths are peace.
She is a tree of life to those who take hold of her,
And happy are all who retain her.

What a beautiful thing this DOUBLE PROMISE and Gift is.
How awful - a long life... without the promise of peace. His Peace.

Verse 23-26 the Safety of the Lord

Then you will walk safely in your way,
And your foot will not stumble.
When you lie down, you will not be afraid;
Yes, you will lie down and your sleep will be sweet.
Do not be afraid of sudden terror,
Nor of trouble from the wicked when it comes;
For the LORD will be your confidence,
And will keep your foot from being caught.

Safety - always my key word. After a decade of rape, a decade of abuse right in my own bedroom, safety became my search.

Locks on doors. Double checking the hallway. Lights left on. Careful around men.

Now, I am alone in this huge farmhouse where I live, for this entire week.
The Lord is with me. I am Fearless.
Thank you Lord. I am going to re-read this proverb. There is so much in every word of the Word.