So my Landlady is deeply troubled.
That is the generous way I can describe my situation this morning. I have given pause. I have been still to ease my frustration, anger, well - you name it.
Wrongly considered and spoken to very badly. Threats and overtures sent from afar.
On her way here from california to the house.

And underlying ALL my tensions and release, frustrations and reconsiderations are.... JUST TALK TO ME. Be Honest and EXPECT me to do the right thing.

I can really talk to and through most things. I have no arrow in my quiver for true craziness. Or inability to discuss fearfulness without the other feeling threatened or condescended to.

So.
Again I move.
Again I am unjustly.... considered and treated.

I ranted and cried - but quickly (and regrettably, deeply) but never did I find the Lord far from me. One prayer has been that I never feel, I never say what my closest and truest friends have said to me, uttering in despair over something truly difficult in their lives:

SO - WHERE IS GOD?

David cried out. It is not beneath our humanness.
I just want to be ever watchful as I know that I leave Him and turn away when I choose despair: HE never leaves me. His Word is true - over and over.

So I got nervous and wanted reaction.... and shared some with my friend when I needed to let it out. The old meat suit needing a place in it all, no matter how briefly. I claim my right and my power to NOT need such indulgences and rely only on the Lord to move me through everything.

So anyway where I am, and with little time, what I want to write is:
Waiting on the Lord.
Wondering, deeply, how would Jesus handle this interaction and how well can I do this?

My kindness - authentic, and truly offered - was turned on me cruelly and in an ugly belittling fashion. My landlady is wounded and reactive, and I do not want to take more Psych101 time and I want to avoid much better even the drama and cost on my heart and body. Oh and the waste of time.

SO. What does the scripture say to me?
God has got this. Okay - for sure. A new place... I have so many miracles in my life from my FJ Cruiser to every other place I have ever found.... real. tangible. physical. world. stories.
Jesus met me where I was.

With only a gilmmer of the old texts and Lisa and "milk" study - have finally I begun to move to "meat"? I want her not suffering. I finally have yielded her "seeing" me better.... I think of the Lord walking not one mile but two....

Grace in motion.
And, when I recall this story, can I tell it glorifying Him and His lesson for me... rather than me glorifying how well I understood and have changed?

Lord help me!

I want to be kind, still: And we have entered into potential legal conversation and exchange.
Noel has reminded me that ALSO in the scriptures is talking with innocence to the serpent.
I am remebering the scripture of dust off your sandals and walk to the next town.

Matthew 10:14

King James Bible
And whosoever shall not receive you, nor hear your words, when ye depart out of that house or city, shake off the dust of your feet.

New King James Version
And whoever will not receive you nor hear your words, when you depart from that house or city, shake off the dust from your feet.

New American Standard Bible
And whoever does not receive you nor listen to your words, as you leave that house or city, shake the dust off your feet.

How do I bring these together and act like my Teacher and my Lord?

Jesus, I am still. I am still, waiting on You as the next steps unfold.

And, I have taken action to withdraw from this worldly fight. This injustice among humans.

I am still, and I am ready to learn.
I will not yield my joy so easily.
I will wait on the Lord and I will learn.
Meat.

PSALM 46:10

King James Bible
Be still, and know that I am God: I will be exalted among the heathen, I will be exalted in the earth.

New King James Version
Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth!

New American Standard Bible
“Stop striving and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted on the earth.”