Maundy Thursday
Maundy Thursday
Maundy Thursday, also referred to as Holy Thursday, or Thursday of the Lord's Supper, among other names, is a Christian feast during Holy Week that marks the beginning of the Paschal Triduum, and commemorates the Washing of the Feet and Last Supper of Jesus Christ with the Apostles, as described in the canonical gospels. It is the fifth day of Holy Week, preceded by Holy Wednesday and followed by Good Friday.
So I love my friends more than I can say; a huge part of our interaction, business, friendship - is Christ. He and his family - Catholic. After ten years of research, searching and prayer he had found himself, surprised, turning to Catholicism.
I trust his search.
I grew up Catholic. It didn't mean much to me: I mean, my Mom was angry at God and let me know. My dad didn't go and my brothers and I went to mass 6 days a week until we were all in junior high school. or so.
So the ritual, the ancient-feeling, the calm pomp was so familiar and even attractive. I have gone and quietly slipped into the back of mass a time or two; I have stopped in other Catholic churches a time or two. It is.... guaranteed to be "the same". Unlike the NonDoms, we have a wild spread of sermons, styles and music and membership.
I want to not miss it.
I want to get it right.
I want to walk Holy.
I want to only please the Lord.
I went to this service tonight truly curious to re-visit, and to pray and pray for discernment. To see what I see. Know what I know. Feel what I feel.
I could not receive communion;. I just felt not to do it.
I watched my mom " not" take communion for my entire life: She never took it once in all those many masses I attended with her.
I have a whole new perspective about this now:
Maybe it was more than anger. Maybe it was more than shame. Maybe it was not being sure.
The covering of Mary, the Crucifix and the sacraments was so sad. I guess this is what it is to evoke. I remember that feeling from St. Gabriels, where I was in Catholic elementary school.
As a grownup, as a reborn Christian - it struck me tonight that Jesus was Gone for Three Days.
He was (not yet on This Thursday) removed from the Earth. From all of us as He took the keys of Hades and Won the Battle.
I am going to revisit this epiphany.
My overall.... time. energy. feeling. experience.... was empty. Even the Sacred escaped me through the rituals and words that I still had available for recall in the back of my brain. I watched the pews, the faces, the bodies.
Nothing.
How can I miss this?
How can this be so wrong?
What does my friend know that I cannot grasp?
All I KNOW - is that I do not ever want to lose the direct relationship I share with Jesus.
All I KNOW - is that it by His sheer Grace that I AM SAVED.
And I KNOW...that the Holy Spirit drops inside me when I sing and move and allow Him to.
I saw no one moved to the point that I am moved every Sunday. By every sermon I watch online from certain truth tellers and pastors.
LET ME DANCE>
HOLY SPIRIT COME INTO THE ROOM>
HELL LOST ANOTHER ONE>
GET UP GET UP GET UP>
GET UP OUT OF THAT GRAVE>
MOVE IN ME HOLY SPIRIT and GIVE ME DISCERNMENT.
LET ME HONOR YOU WITH MY JOY AND MY SONG AND MY TEARS.
I THANK THE MASTER.
I THANK THE SAVIOUR.
I THANK GOD.
HELL LOST ANOTHER ONE.
I AM FREE. I AM FREE.
