God convicted me so today. After Church.

But Church took me downtown, I tell you. It started off so general, I was busy in my mind. Busy with thinking, "Oh No.... I am not going to get anything out of this today...." my prejudice cutting me like a knife... and I became much softer, and aware of myself.  Listening to my inner complaining and wondering at myself. I have JUST moved, I wanted to be home, my new home.

I enjoyed reading the Bible, and sitting bug free this morning with Ruby. Beautiful! So I was thinking at church... Oh I KNOW Americans don't know we need God.. that we are comfortable and bored with it all...... I want to be home!

And then.... EVERYTHING BECAME RELEVANT to ME. For ME. This is still before the real conviction. This was the beginning of me really enjoying the Church and the Sermon.

Talking about Not Worrying. Choosing Prayer and Faith. It was wonderful, starting with Philippians. Oh the Word came alive for me! Just like that.

I thought about this week and the week before... and my wrestling with the Lord, and we both winning to His Glory! PRAY and DO NOT WORRY. If I believe in Jesus, if I am filled with the Holy Ghost, if I know God through His Son... HOW...can I worry!

It has been so alive for me, not just words. How to pray?

The Bible tells us: Pray Boldly.

Mark 11:24 ESV
Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours.

Hebrews 4:16 ESV Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need.

1 John 5:14 ESV And this is the confidence that we have toward him, that if we ask anything according to his will he hears us.

Hebrews 11:6 ESV
And without faith it is impossible to please him, for whoever would draw near to God must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who seek him.

Philippians 4:6 ESV
Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.

John 14:13 ESV

Whatever you ask in my name, this I will do, that the Father may be glorified in the Son.

Matthew 21:22 ESV

And whatever you ask in prayer, you will receive, if you have faith.

1 John 5:15 ESV

And if we know that he hears us in whatever we ask, we know that we have the requests that we have asked of him.

James 5:16 ESV

Therefore, confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person has great power as it is working.

Luke 6:1-49 ESV

On a Sabbath, while he was going through the grainfields, his disciples plucked and ate some heads of grain, rubbing them in their hands. But some of the Pharisees said, “Why are you doing what is not lawful to do on the Sabbath?” And Jesus answered them, “Have you not read what David did when he was hungry, he and those who were with him: how he entered the house of God and took and ate the bread of the Presence, which is not lawful for any but the priests to eat, and also gave it to those with him?” And he said to them, “The Son of Man is lord of the Sabbath.” ...

Ephesians 3:12 ESV

In whom we have boldness and access with confidence through our faith in him.

1 John 1:8-9 ESV 

If we say we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.

James 4:8 ESV

Draw near to God, and he will draw near to you. Cleanse your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded.

Hebrews 13:15 ESV

Through him then let us continually offer up a sacrifice of praise to God, that is, the fruit of lips that acknowledge his name.

Colossians 4:2 ESV

Continue steadfastly in prayer, being watchful in it with thanksgiving.

Philippians 1:12-18 ESV

I want you to know, brothers, that what has happened to me has really served to advance the gospel, so that it has become known throughout the whole imperial guard and to all the rest that my imprisonment is for Christ. And most of the brothers, having become confident in the Lord by my imprisonment, are much more bold to speak the word without fear. Some indeed preach Christ from envy and rivalry, but others from good will. The latter do it out of love, knowing that I am put here for the defense of the gospel. ...

John 9:31 ESV 

We know that God does not listen to sinners, but if anyone is a worshiper of God and does his will, God listens to him.

Luke 18:1 ESV

And he told them a parable to the effect that they ought always to pray and not lose heart.

Luke 11:13 ESV

If you then, who are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will the heavenly Father give the Holy Spirit to those who ask him!

Jude 1:20 ESV 

But you, beloved, building yourselves up in your most holy faith and praying in the Holy Spirit...

1 Peter 2:1-25 ESV

So put away all malice and all deceit and hypocrisy and envy and all slander. Like newborn infants, long for the pure spiritual milk, that by it you may grow up into salvation— if indeed you have tasted that the Lord is good. As you come to him, a living stone rejected by men but in the sight of God chosen and precious, you yourselves like living stones are being built up as a spiritual house, to be a holy priesthood, to offer spiritual sacrifices acceptable to God through Jesus Christ...

1 Peter 1:7 ESV

So that the tested genuineness of your faith—more precious than gold that perishes though it is tested by fire—may be found to result in praise and glory and honor at the revelation of Jesus Christ.

James 5:14 ESV

Is anyone among you sick? Let him call for the elders of the church, and let them pray over him, anointing him with oil in the name of the Lord.

James 2:21-23 ESV

Was not Abraham our father justified by works when he offered up his son Isaac on the altar? You see that faith was active along with his works, and faith was completed by his works; and the Scripture was fulfilled that says, “Abraham believed God, and it was counted to him as righteousness”—and he was called a friend of God.

James 1:27 ESV

Religion that is pure and undefiled before God the Father is this: to visit orphans and widows in their affliction, and to keep oneself unstained from the world.

James 1:19 ESV

Know this, my beloved brothers: let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger...

James 1:6 ESV

But let him ask in faith, with no doubting, for the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea that is driven and tossed by the wind.

James 1:5 ESV

If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given him.

Hebrews 11:1-40 ESV

Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen. For by it the people of old received their commendation. By faith we understand that the universe was created by the word of God, so that what is seen was not made out of things that are visible. By faith Abel offered to God a more acceptable sacrifice than Cain, through which he was commended as righteous, God commending him by accepting his gifts. And through his faith, though he died, he still speaks. By faith Enoch was taken up so that he should not see death, and he was not found, because God had taken him. Now before he was taken he was commended as having pleased God. 

Hebrews 10:25 ESV

Not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day drawing near.

Hebrews 10:19 ESV

Therefore, brothers, since we have confidence to enter the holy places by the blood of Jesus...

So many ways in so many verses we are told to Pray, and Pray Boldly.
And we are shown How to Do it.

SO today: I was so grateful for being so swept up in this message.

Pray. Do. Not. Worry. Pray Only.

And then: I realized I didn't have my wallet as I was at a store. Oh No!
Call the Church!
Call someone at the now closed Church!
Call Joanne's helper, to see if I left it there!
Call the restaurant from lunch yesterday with Kenny and Melissa!
All three different towns.

WAIT A MINUTE.
I took action:
I went to the church. Closed. I called Leesa and she knew who to call to see if it were there.
I called the restaurant to see if it were left there somehow.
I called Joanne's to see if I had left it there when I stopped by today.
AND THEN:
I drove back to my new home, where I want to spend my whole day... and THANKED GOD. PRAYED TO JESUS> ASKED THE HOLY SPIRIT TO KEEP ME FILLED.

And I was so peaceful: without my wallet's location known.
But I KNEW it was okay, I was so peaceful, as I KNEW I was realizing and activating this day's lesson. It made me silly happy, and also convicted in my awareness as a sinner.
I was abiding in gratitude with My Lord.

I was sure Joanne was going to keep my deposit. She was so drunk.
I found my July check sitting around, so I took it to keep it, knowing it would be my deposit money, knowing I would do the right thing in the end - but/and - protect myself during this horrible month with Joanne and the house... Never to not pay her, but rather, let the "lost check" be my deposit equivalent.
Well, now was that time.

She was sure she had deposited it.
I told her no, it hadn't cleared. So I gave her the deposit back and added $200 (instead of $300) because of the cost of stopping the check.
The very July's month check I had in my stuff somewhere.

Oh this was all a lie. A petty, small, stupid (always) lie! God has been pouring money into me and I am in a secret power play for $100! LISA!!!! WHAT in the WORLD is WRONG WITH YOU!!

I can't tell if as I write this if it makes sense... it doesn't matter: I was lying about having her check, letting her think she lost or deposited it. The amount was balanced... but somehow at the last minute (before I knew I had misplaced my wallet) I pulled some small minded and cold hearted powerplay and told her I would add $200 to the deposit check she was going to give me and I tore up the deposit check to me... still shorting her $100. WHY!!)
Again if the details are confusing it is insignificant: the story is my muddled sinner's mind, wanting to KEEP $100. Why?

So I then......went to the store, found myself walletless... and I was CONVICTED with my punishment. I drove back home 30 miles away, praising Him. Thanking Him.
I walked into my new home and right there sat my wallet.
I got right in my car and drove right back to Joannes and gave her the $300 total. And picked out my cart from the store, and finally drove all the way home.

TIME:
4:10 PM.
All day gone practically!  I had to laugh at myself...
GOD... You are so good to me. Compassionate lessons, so gentle. So gentle.
I am a mess, like David and Moses. Like Isaiah.
And like Those Great Men... God Loves me and I am chosen. I am Forgiven. I choose Jesus.

ME AND DAVID:
Psalm 18:2
The LORD is my rock, my fortress, and my deliverer.
My God is my rock, in whom I take refuge, my shield, and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold.

ME AND DAVID

Psalm 34:4-7
I sought the LORD, and He answered me; He delivered me from all my fears. / Those who look to Him are radiant with joy; their faces shall never be ashamed. / This poor man called out, and the LORD heard him; He saved him from all his troubles. ...

ME AND ISAIAH

Isaiah 41:10
Do not fear, for I am with you; do not be afraid, for I am your God.
I will strengthen you; I will surely help you; I will uphold you with My righteous right hand.

ME AND MOSES
Exodus 14:13-14
But Moses told the people, “Do not be afraid. Stand firm and you will see the LORD’s salvation, which He will accomplish for you today; for the Egyptians you see today, you will never see again. / The LORD will fight for you; you need only to be still.”

Lord, help me anew:
I am Yours.
I am Listening.
I am Sorry everytime I Fail.
Lord, Always help me Draw Near.

HEBREWS 10:22-34

King James Bible
Let us draw near with a true heart in full assurance of faith, having our hearts sprinkled from an evil conscience, and our bodies washed with pure water.

New King James Version
let us draw near with a true heart in full assurance of faith, having our hearts sprinkled from an evil conscience and our bodies washed with pure water.

New American Standard Bible
let’s approach God with a sincere heart in full assurance of faith, having our hearts sprinkled clean from an evil conscience and our bodies washed with pure water.